growing pains

i've been ruminating on this post for a week now, trying to articulate why my activity on this blog has diminished so much over the past year. it does take energy and intention to write with frequency, but i love writing. especially about food, adventures, and feelings. and i've certainly had no lack of of all three of those things lately. it's hard to know how much to share in a public-ish forum like this, you know? blogs and profiles and tumblrs and twitter feeds and all of these virtual forums allow us to landscape and edit our lives and personalities as much as we please. we can be a brutal and gruesome about our flaws, or present only the most charming, shiny moments. i will just say here that there have been lots of changes afoot in my life, some tough and tricky and some really good. all of them have made it easy to feel scattered, unfocused, and at times deeply uncertain.

as i get older, it has become clearer: even the most positive transitions carry with them that awkward sense of moving-through-it-ness, like that feeling in dreams when you're trying to run or swim and your body feels heavy and awful and won't obey your commands.



about a month ago, ryan and i bought a house in west philadelphia (yes, the kitchen rules). the day after we moved in, these lillies rocketed out of the front yard, reckless floral fireworks. they stood proud on their green legs for a few days and then slowly began to bow under their own grand weight, submitting to the humid force of gravity.

this is jacket - we adopted her in october and i do believe it's one of the best decisions we've ever made. i love this little dog more than is probably acceptable. she's missing a bunch of teeth, and purrs deep, guttural sighs of satisfaction when your hands hit the sweet spots. the perfection of her companionship surprises me constantly, and has inspired in me a whole new kind of care taking and nurturing...just further proving the infinite capacity of the heart.
 

i think Vegan Royale is nearing its natural end. cooking, drinking, eating, researching and learning are still very much at the core of my passions. but i'm not vegan anymore and haven't been for a long time. lately, i've even been grappling with conflicted feelings about my vegetarian diet, and what kinds of choices i'm going to make in the future. i will certainly continue writing and sharing, perhaps just in a new venue. perhaps with a bit more structure and a refreshed focus that more accurately reflect the foodie things i'm excited about these days. so while this isn't the last post ever, i'm getting ever closer to closing this chapter to make way for a new endeavor. and it feels kind of scary and risky and weird - as most real, good things usually do.

love,
emily

grade A upgrade

perhaps one of the most important kitchen tools, as far as blogs go, is a camera. of course not nearly as important as a sharp knife, a good cast iron skillet, a reliable gas stove, or a kick ass food processor. though some would probably argue this point, preparing and especially EATING the food we make is far more important than blogging about it. documenting and finding clever things to say about our meals is fun and rewarding, but the cooking comes first.

however, since i do find myself in the casual business of publicly sharing the culinary part of my life with all who care to read and view, it's nice to feel like i'm doing it with some style. up until very recently, i felt severely limited in this respect by my pedestrian point-and- shoot digital camera. even the best lighting scenarios i could muster - even just nice daylight by the window sill - never seemed to do the food, or the labor i put into it, justice. what's the fun in reading about food without some visual evidence? i thank you all for bearing with some seriously less than stunning photography.

however, all this is about to change! tuesday was my 29th birthday, and bestowed upon me was an incredibly generous, thoughtful and totally out-of-the-blue gift from ryan and my mom:

hello, beautiful

this slick digi SLR beast is all mine, and it's just killer. i hate to brag, but i'm just so stoked on it and wanted to share with you all! i feel like i just graduated, or something. anyway, from this day forward, expect a serious upgrade from the VR photography. except maybe for photos taken outside of our house - i am still too nervous to bring my new camera out into the harsh world!

love,
emily

nicecap

this past friday night, we gathered at beloved shot & a beer joint bob and barbara's, for a birthdy throwdown. our bestie Halimah turned 25! so in her honor, we settled in at the city-wide special watering hole for long, solid bar session. you know, one of those nights where you park it at the bar, the hours roll by, the beers keep coming, and before you know it people are talking to strangers, jovially yelling over each other and dancing to the jazz band. maybe a few friends even trade smooches on a drunk lark. the bartenders start to hate you even though you mean to spread love through your tips. i wish i could elucidate this better but it just felt very...philly.

after the majority of the friends had disbanded, ryan, hammy and i stumbled out of the bar and into the clear autumn air. tipsy, but not yet tired, someone proposed a nightcap before turning in for good. we decided to get one more at tattoo mom, mostly out of its convenient location to pizza (eep!) and home. on our bike ride down south street, i proposed a slightly classier option - brauhaus schmitz. much to my surprise, my cohorts heartily agreed to abandon our punk rock destination for the german-themed bar. something about brauhaus has always been tinged with douchiness (is it that boot thing?), or fratiness, or something, but it also has the potential to be really nice. which would it be on that saturday morning at 1:20AM?

blonde, redhead, brunette

thankfully, the meathead contingent had already retired for the evening, and the bar was pretty quiet. yeah, there were still a few questionable looking/acting young men, but we ignored them and ordered our delicious final beers of the night. i can't remember what ry and ham ordered (full disclosure: i think i acheived 2.5 out of 3 sheets to the wind), but i ordered a big, beautiful mug of spaten optimator (the dark beer on the far right in the photo above). yes, 17 ounces of this 7.2%, bottom fermented, rich and roasty malted doppel bock was a bold choice for a night cap. but after a night of mediocre lager, it tasted SO good, and i really took my time sipping. if we'd actually gone to that other bar, i certainly would've ended up gulping yet another crappy beer, and probably would've ordered a second. instead, all three of us lingered, truly enjoying the complex, deep aromas and flavors of our brews. and at $5.50, this heady bev was worth every dime.

ending our night this way felt, well, very adult. adult in the best way - a savvy, relaxing way to spend a little more time together before hitting the sack. perhaps appropriate for a quarter century b-day, eh?

love,
emily